Prepare Yoenis*

It is official, Yoenis Cespedes is now a free agent. The Marlins will make a strong push to sign the Cuban defector, regardless of the fact that he has faced MLB-quality pitching only sporadically in his professional career. One has to expect they have the inside track, thanks to the money they are willing to throw around and the fact that any Cuban player will be automatically revered in South Florida.

Rumors circled today that Cespedes doesn't really want to play for the Marlins, but MLB.com beat writer Joe Frisaro talked to his sources, who basically refuted that idea. It's up to you to decide which hearsay to believe; both are equally likely in my opinion.

If the Marlins do sign Cespedes, they will have to figure out where to put him. Frisaro thinks he could start the year in Double-A or Triple-A. Considering the fact that he has played almost his entire career in the Cuba (which is no longer the hotbed of talent it was even a decade ago), this makes sense. The guy could probably use a little bit of seasoning before being exposed to the Halladays and Strasburgs of the NL.

But when he gets up to the big leauges, where do they put him? He is probably athletic enough to play centerfield, but may be better suited to the corner outfield spots in the long term. Only problem there is that both of those are occupied by Mike Stanton and Logan Morrison. LoMo could be moved back to first base, but then where does Gaby Sanchez go? This is a good problem to have, but a problem nonetheless (and one that could lead to another vacuum in centerfield).

Nonetheless, the Marlins still have to actually sign Cespedes, so we can wait to cross that bridge when we actually get there.


*Ted gets all the credit for this pun. You should probably know by now that it's pronounced "yo-AY-nis."

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Did our magical week together mean NOTHING to you?!?!

Mike Piazza wants a Mets hat on his Hall of Fame plaque (provided the BBWAA doesn't Bagwell him and tie up his potential induction because of PED hysteria):

When asked what hat he wants to wear if elected to the Hall of Fame, he responded: "It's gotta be the Mets. No question."

We, of course, have an alternate suggestion:

It would be the ultimate troll move, which means it must be done. The Hall of Fame has the final say on a player's plaque hatwear. We can only hope Hall of Fame officials find this idea as funny as we do...

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Haterzzzzz...

Looks like SB Nation's Al Yellon is feeling a bit cranky today...

The Miami Marlins aren't a baseball team, they're a lounge act. 

And they're not one of the nightclub acts you line up to see. No, they're a faded 1970s lounge act, long after the genre lost its popularity, with a singer wearing an orange sequined jacket, singing Frank Sinatra and Bing Crosby songs off-key while the lone waitress, whose hair long ago ceased to be blonde but has been frosted that way anyway, serves drinks to fifty-something men who are trying to pretend they don't have combovers. 

This is all to preface this post, which I freely admit is going to be full of unreasonable dislike of the team from Miami. I can't stand the Marlins or anything they represent.

There's more. It's a bit of a train wreck. He rehashes the same criticisms of the Marlins you've heard before: Loria and Samson are jerks, the new logo and centerfield display are ugly, and no one goes to their games. The Pullitzer committee has surely taken notice of the fine work put into Yellon's tirade. At least when Jeff Sullivan criticizes the Marlins, he tries to be funny.

This is just kinda sad. If only Loria and Samson would get off his lawn, he'd probably stop yelling.


Image via.

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Admit it, you felt a thrill when this happened

Everyone's favorite baseball owner nearly died at the hands of LeBron James last night. Surely you've already seen the video above, so let's skip the recap and go straight to the jokes!

LeBron says he wants a hat. Loria gave Hanley Ramirez a horifically blingy chain for winning a batting title. LeBron basically saved Loria's life. That is worth at least a gauche crown or two.

Also: Shoulda been you, Samson. Shoulda been you...

Unrelated: I was looking for something in my NBCMiami archive (seriously, I needed to find a link for another story, I was not reading my own stuff and marveling at my pithiness, I swear), and I found this gem: No one invited Chris Volstad to the Marlins' uniform unveiling, he thinks that means he's on the outs in Miami. Read that one right on the money, Chris! Good job.

Finally, in burying the lede: Ted and I are of course going to redesign our banner since it no longer makes sense. But we're both kinda busy, so we haven't had time to dick around in Photoshop. Perhaps you can help! We've got some ideas we want to play with, but would be open to input and will give you a certain amount of creative autonomy. We won't pay you, but Ted may buy you a beer sometime, and we'd proclaim you to be the finest gentleman (or gentlewoman) in all the land using our lightly-read Marlins blog as a trumpet. Hit one of us on Twitter or Facebook if you're interested.

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Best Photo Ever?

Submitted without comment:


Amy K. Nelson on WhoSay
 
Yes, that's Bryan Petersen and Logan Morrison. 

Good heavens, this team will be fun to cover.

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