Off-Day Guide

Thursday, April 17, 2014

What to do while you're dreaming of a competent bullpen...

  • Bad Boys, ESPN, 7pm: The newest 30 for 30 documentary, about the late-80s Detroit Pistons. 
  • NHL Playoffs: Chicago at St. Louis, 7pm, NBCSports: if you're into that sort of thing...
  • Community/Parks and Rec, NBC, 8pm: Season finale for Community, which has been stellar in Dan Harmon's return from exile. 
  • NCIS, CBS, 9pm: Watch it, then you'll have something to talk about with your parents (for once)!
  • Scandal, ABC, 9pm: Watch it, then you'll have something to talk about with your boring friends!

Since the Marlins will host Seattle over the weekend, take a gander at Where'd You Go, Bernadette, the second novel from Maria Semple. Set in my adopted home, it is a fun read about a Seattle transplant who gets progressively unhinged as the plot develops. It is worth your time, and if you've lived in Seattle you'll find the sections where the main character complains about her home to be very true to life. Semple used to write for Arrested Development, and her comedic chops are strong.


The Jonah Keri podcast made its triumphant return this week, now part of Grantland's podcast lineup. Listen to it here, and try not to get the best theme song in podcasting stuck in your head.


Giancarlo Stanton Came to Fornicate

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

The Marlins took an eight-game losing streak into Tuesdsay night's game against the Nationals, and with Stephen Strasburg taking the hill against the Marlins it looked like that 8 could turn into a 9 by night's end.

Then Sr. #Monsterdong took the bull by the horns and unleashed some hot sex on Marlins Park:

It was Stanton's fifth home run of the season, going 457 feet to one of the deepest parts of Marlins Park. According to ESPN Stats & Info, Stanton has 3 of the 4 longest home runs of the young season. It was also the longest home run Strasburg has given up.

Stanton is off to a very hot start (5 HR, 21 RBI, .635 slugging%), and it is as if he knows 2014 is the year he will either secure a long-term contract offer from the Marlins or be traded to the highest bidder. Stanton is letting everyone in baseball know just how valuable he is.

Honorable mention goes to Tom Koehler, who stranded one hit and five walks over seven scoreless innings. His inside pitch to Ian Desmond in the fourth inning very nearly started something, as Desmond took offense and precipitated a little argument with Jarrod Saltalamacchia. Sadly, it turned out to be one of those benches-emptying stand-around affairs

Jose Fernandez will take the hill tonight as the Marlins attempt a series win.


Let's Just Keep Thinking About That First Week

Monday, April 14, 2014

Hey, remember when the Marlins steamrolled Colorado and San Diego en route to a 5-2 record to start the season?

That was awesome.

Two straight series sweeps at Washington and Philadelphia, and the Fish are right back where everyone expected them to be:

The Marlins' poor play prompted this exchange between your fearless bloggers:

But hey, at least we can watch this #Monsterdong over and over until we forget about last week:


The Marmolcoaster Claims its First Victim of 2014

Thursday, April 10, 2014

That victim: what would have been the Marlins' sixth win of the season. Nursing a one-run lead in the eighth, Marmol served this up to Jayson Werth with the bases loaded...

But really, who could have predicted such a thing?



Exclusive Interview with Marlins Park Manager of Turfgrass Science

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

You may have heard that the Marlins have installed new grass in the Marlins Park outfield before the season. Marlins Diehards got an exclusive interview with the team's in-house turfgrass scientist, who created the new hybrid during the offseason. Watch it below:

The Marlins are on the road this week, but they return home on April 14 for a three-game set against the Nats. In the meantime, Carl will be getting stoned to the bejeezus and enjoying his magnificent creation.


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