Introducing Sean West

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Sean West introduced himself to the baseball world last night, notching his first career W against the Giants while pitching eight scoreless innings. Sure, he was facing the Giants, who think it's a good idea to bat Bengie Molina (!) cleanup,1 but how many shutouts have you thrown lately? Anyway, since Sean is clearly in need of a nickname (as is everyone else named Sean), we will now refer to him as El Unidad Grandito.

Why El Unidad Grandito? Ted said one of West's pitching coaches used to call him Little Unit, after Randy Johnson, who happened to be his counterpart last night (Sean is 6'8", two inches shorter than the Big Unit). So we Hispanicized the name, since he plays in Miami and everything. Besides, I'm pretty sure he doesn't want share a name with a euphemism for a small penis. Why is he superimposed over some fire, you ask? Well, because fire is awesome, of course.

Honorable mention goes to Brett Carroll, who picked up his fellow rookie by hitting his first career ding dong off the Unit in the second inning. Hitting your first home run is awesome, doing it against one of the five best LHPs to ever play the game is icing on the cake. Nice job, rook. Now go pick up Dan Uggla's drycleaning.

1Molina's OPS+ so far this year: 75


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